My son told me of this humor blog that has a post entitled “Top 10 Trek Annoyances” and “Borg”. I selected two of the ten annoyances to post. A portion of the Borg post follows. You can read the other eight annoyances at the Frogstar blog. The Annoyances link is below.

8. Reversing the Polarity.
For cripes sake Giordi, stop reversing the polarity of everything! It might work once in a while, but usually it just screws things up. I have it on good authority that the technicians at Starbase 12 HATE that. Every time the Enterprise comes in for its 10,000 hour checkup, they’ve gotta go through the whole damned ship fixing stuff. “What happened to the toilet in Stateroom 3?”

“Well, the plumbing backed up, and Giordi thought he could fix it by reversing the polarity.”

2. The Holodeck.
I mean, it’s cool and all. But do you really believe that people would use it to re-create Sherlock Holmes mysteries and old-west saloons? Come on, we all know what the holodeck would be used for. And we also know what the worst job on the Enterprise would be: Having to squeegie the holodeck clean.

 http://frogstar.com/text/search/ShowTextFile.asp?Filename=Top%2010%20Trek%20Annoyances.txt

The next one I thought was also pretty funny. I’ll post a few sentences and then you can read the remainder at his blog.

Borg Humor 

“Star Trek Lost Episodes” transcript:

“Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at
finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access
their command pathways?”

“Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through
our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology.”

“What the hell is ‘Microsoft’?”

“Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called ‘Windows’,
through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit,
it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate.”

“But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won’t they alter their
processing systems to increase their storage capacity?”

“Yes, Captain. But when ‘Windows’ detects this, it creates a new
version of itself known as an ‘upgrade’. The use of resources increases
exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt
quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken
over and none will be available for their normal operational functions.”

For the remainder of the post, see this link:

http://www.frogstar.com/text/search/ShowTextFileST.asp?Filename=borg.txt&description

Just so I make proper credit here, the Frogstar blog appears to be the creation of a guy named Jeff Goebel. He has other funny links and posts on his blog, only a geek could love.

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